How to Keep Control of Your Life by Setting Boundaries

Often people are severely stressed, not because of their hectic work schedules or busy lives, rather they are stressed because of other people. How so? When someone has people who are dependent on them for whatever reason, he or she is essentially giving up a piece of themselves. The best illustration is a parent - child relationship. Children depend on their parent(s) and so the parents are no longer living for themselves, but for the children as well.

However, this dependency is not only limited to children. It can be coworkers, friends or extended family members. Separate this dependency from that of a positional leadership role. This dependency is more or less when people seek you out for help because you are readily available. You are easily accessible. This might take the form of constant phone calls or requests for favors. Someone might be going through some rough times and they need you to be there for them. While it is a good thing to be there for others, and to help whenever you can, you must also keep control of you.

There is a line that separates being there for others and giving up control of your life to others.

The objective is to keep control. You release control of your life to others, when your time is spent meeting their needs. You can only give out what you have inside. If you are being depleted internally by trying to meet the needs of others, then stress is inevitable. You are essentially a pressure cooker, and the pressure is going to need to be released. Often the release of the pressure is not in controlled small increments.

To keep control of your life requires you to set boundaries. A simple illustration of a boundary is setting a time of the day or night when you will not accept phone calls. For example, there will be no phone calls accepted during dinner time from (5pm to 7pm) or after 10pm or before 7am. Setting boundaries may seem harsh to the other person. However, you are basically empowering them to solve their own problems. As long as you play the role of savior to others, they will treat you as such. That is never a healthy relationship. Even children are taught to solve problems on their own, so that when they leave their parents' home, they are equipped to make it in the world.

The small word, NO, is a very powerful word. The problem is that many people have trouble using that word. However, to keep control of your life, the word NO, needs to be used. If you loose control of your life, then the little bit of help you are giving to others is not of the best quality. That is because you are depleted. So it is not only in your interest that you keep control, but it is in the interest of others as well.

Can The Power Of Positive Thinking Really Change Your Outlook On Life?

While everybody has probably heard of the term positive thinking, not everybody believes it is something that can be used successfully. Most of the people who are skeptic about positive thinking power have never tried using it, so they just don't understand just how successful it can be nor do they understand how powerful positive thinking is. Positive thinking alone can change your entire outlook on life and so much more, if it is used correctly.

One of the best things about positive thinking being powerful enough to change your outlook on life is how much other stuff will change with it. People who sit back and focus on the negative aspects of life are often negative people; they are not very fun to be around. If you think about it, you probably have a few acquaintances that are always being negative, saying stuff can't be done. These people tell themselves often enough that things can't be done, so they have convinced themselves that it is impossible to do.

Something else interesting to note about positive thinkers is that they are the ones that people always want to be around. If you think about this, it probably already makes sense to you. Nobody wants to be around the negative people, but everybody wants to be around positive people. One reason why positive people are so fun to be around is that they are always happy and in an upbeat mood. These moods actually rub off and other people and make them feel good, which is why so many people like to surround themselves with positive thinking people. So in order to use positive thinking power to change your outlook on life you not only have to start using it, but you also need to surround yourself with other positive thinkers.

In order to begin using positive thinking to change your outlook on life you will need to learn how to use it effectively. Many people assume that all there is to using positive thinking is telling yourself a few positive words each day. However, in order to use positive thinking to its full advantage there are quite a few different things that you need to do. Positive thinking is more than just telling yourself that things are going to be fine, it is also about your attitude.

One of the most important things to do when using positive thinking is to only use positive words. This not only applies to your thoughts, but also any words spoken aloud. You want to avoid all of the negative words, such as cannot, will not, not able to, etc. Instead, focus on the positive words that make it seem like anything is possible. For example instead of saying I am not sure I can do something say I can do this. If you find a negative thought coming in, which is possible even if you are working hard, you simply need to redirect your line of thinking, kind of like that old saying "Turn that frown upside down."

Before you go out to do something, no matter how small the task might be, you will want to take the time to visualize what it is you will be doing. When visualizing the plan you want to visualize one that has a successful outcome, don't think about any kind of failure. Concentrating on the outcome that you want and having faith that you can make that outcome happen is the best thing you can do to ensure you are successful.

Moreover, most importantly you want to surround yourself with other positive people, but also other positive things. For example, instead of watching movies that make you feel sad or angry watch movies that make you happy. Reading inspirational books is another huge step to changing your outlook on life, but you can also read other books that make you happy. Just make sure you are reading one page of an inspirational book each day to help flood your mind with those positive and happy thoughts.

Now that you know how to use positive thinking effectively, you need to make sure that you are doing it properly. You are not going to be able to successfully change your outlook on life simply by spending a few minutes each day telling yourself that things are going to be fine, you have to put some time and energy into this process in order to be successful. So what are you waiting for go out there and get started!

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Just had to let you know about this event in case you did not already know, and until the 31st May you can buy one ticket and get one free.  Hope to see you there!

The Power of Decisions

I want to talk a little bit about the concept of decisions. When you think about any change that you've ever made in your life, didn't it really happen the moment you made a decision? Now sometimes we say, "Oh it's hard to change, it took me forever to change." Usually what takes forever is getting yourself to the point of deciding. It's the "getting ready to get ready to change" that's takes so long. You really didn't make any changes until you decided to change.

So you can say today, "That's it! I'm done. I'm never going to do that again" or "this is the way I'm going to be from now on." It's the power of a decision. No change was ever made in anybody's life without first deciding. Once you make a decision then you can move forward. A lot of times you say, "Oh it's so hard to change, it's so hard to do this, it's so hard to do that" but really it's not hard because you're really not doing it yet, you're really not making any effort until you decide.

The decision - when things begin to happen

Once you have made that decision, things start to happen in your life. Making that one single decision, saying from this point on, from this time, this minute, this second, I am going in that direction. I am no longer going in the direction I was going. I have turned my life. I am headed in a new direction and everything I do and everything I say and everything I feel is different. This gets you on the road. You won't totally change your life in a day but you will be amazed at how quickly you move in that direction.

Think for a moment about the story that Charles Dickens wrote, A Christmas Carol. Think about Scrooge. Think about what happened to him, how in an instant his life changed. After he was shown all the pain and misery of his past and the mistakes that he had made, and the person that he had become, and then as he looked into the future and was shown what his future would be if he continued on that path, if he continued in that direction - he made a decision, in an instant. He changed his direction. He changed his glasses, his lenses that he sees his life through. Suddenly everything changed.

Can you change in an instant?

Is it possible for a person to change in an instant? I believe it is. Think about Scrooge and how he changed in an instant. He totally changed his direction. He became a different person. Now, did everything change in his life all at once? No! But his direction changed and the lens through which he looked at life changed. The lens through which he made decisions, his feelings, his actions changed by changing that lens that he looked through or the direction that he was headed in his life. Everything changed and he was now on the road in a different direction to a different life, to becoming a different person. You can do the same. You can make that change.

Now you don't have to have spirits come to you in the night to show you the mistakes you have made in the past. You can do that on your own. Review the past, review the pain that you've had in your life by going the direction you're going right now. Think about all the pain you've suffered through, all the opportunities that you've missed because of the actions and direction you've taken in your life. Think about where you could have been now. Think about your future. Think about a year into the future.

Ponder your future

If you continue on the road that you are on now where will you be one year from now? Will you be any better of a person? Will you continue down hill? What about five years from now, where will you be if you continue on this road that you're headed without changing? What will your life be like? Is that where you want to be? Is that where you want to go? Experience the pain of this. Think about it. What kind of a life do you want? What kind of person do you want to be? Do you want to continue heading in the direction that you're heading right now? Is that what you want? No!

As you experience this pain of your past mistakes and what it will mean to you in the future if you don't make any changes - let it sink deep down into your heart, into your mind, into your emotions. Feel this pain and make a decision now, at this moment, that you will not put up with this any more, that you will not live another second in this world headed in that direction, that you are tired of tripping up, falling down, making mistakes, following the easy path and suffering the misery from this. You want better things in life.

You know deep down inside of you is a different person, a better person, a great person, a person with potential. The real you is deep down inside you. You know who the real you is and it's trying to get out. Why not let him out now? Defeat the old "you" and let the new "you" out, the real you out. You can do all this with the power of decisions.

Look Up! - The Power Of Expectations

"We will always tend to fulfill our own expectation of ourselves" - Brian Tracy

As we know, UP is a direction. More importantly, it is a direction that we want to go. The first step in moving UP is to set our sights beyond our current circumstances. Inherent in the definition of UP is that it never stops. There is always one more rung on the ladder, one more battle to fight, one more person to help, and one more analogy to make. So, wherever we are today, we have room to improve.

What's holding us back? One of the main things keeping us from achieving more is that our expectations are set too low. When an expectation is set, our minds are so powerful and complex that our actions immediately begin to line up with that expectation. Robert K. Merton coined the phrase "self-fulfilling prophecy" to describe this phenomenon in his 1957 book Social Theory and Social Structure. Wikipedia defines a self-fulfilling prophecy as "a prediction that, in being made, actually causes itself to become true".

My Fair Lady. In George Bernard Shaw's play Pygmalion, Eliza Doolittle is transformed from a Cockney flower girl to a lady. What made the difference? The image that she had of herself changed when others treated her differently. Colonel Pickering called her "Miss Doolittle," which Liza says began to teach her self-respect. She explained to Colonel Pickering, "The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she's treated. I shall always be a flower girl to Professor Higgins, because he always treated me as a flower girl, and always will, but I know I can be a lady to you because you always treat me as a lady, and always will."

We See It Every Day. Most of us have observed the power of expectations with a familiar example. A co-worker mentions to us late in the day that they think that they're coming down with a cold. We may respond with something like, "I've heard there's something going around". We could even say, "You look all right to me". It really doesn't matter what we say at that point as the person really expects to get sick. Sure enough, the next day, they call into work sounding just awful announcing that there is no possible way they could work today.

"You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them." - Michael Jordan

"Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact." - William James

Who Cares? Who cares enough about us to impose expectations upon us? The obvious answer is friends and family. Often, these expecations are normal and positive. For example, if our spouse expects us to be home to have dinner with the family, this could be a wonderful norm. Since we care about our friends and family, they have more power than anyone else to influence our own opinion of our ability. Frequently, well-meaning relatives will deter someone from pursuing their true life purpose.

One of the ways that this happens is by planting doubt. Let's say we truly believe that we have an ability to write. We also have a desire to pursue writing as a career. In subtle ways, some of our friends and family begin to plant doubts about our skills or the opportunities in this career path. They may think that they are protecting us; however, sometimes, the result is that we choose another path that we perceive to be less risky.

What About Me? That's right, we are the most important person in our lives in determining our place in this world. We are constantly comparing ourselves to others. We hear our own voice more than any other. So, what are we saying to ourselves? If we are saying that we can do it, we are much more likely to dismiss evidence to the contrary. Take one of the most famous historical examples, how successful would David have been against Goliath if he were talking defeat to himself? It's possible that he would have been unsuccessful if he had not been rehearsing his past successes in killing the lion and the bear with his bare hands.

Aside from the people in our inner circle of influence, there are others that have the ability to set expectations for us, if we give them the power. We just need to be aware that this occurs. Sometimes, we are more likely to change our opinion of ourselves because someone that we respect has a different viewpoint. Instead of taking their word for it, we must evaluate their opinion as objectively as possible. We don't want to close ourselves off from change, however, we do want to make sure that any change is a conscious choice.

When Did I Choose? Unfortunately for many, the past controls the present. For others, concerns about the future significantly impact their current view. If the past is controlling us, it is generally in the form of guilt. In the case of guilt, we don't feel worthy of success because of what we've done or haven't done. As hard as it may be, we must let go of our feelings of unworthiness. Additionally, we must forgive anyone for anything that is eating away at us. Unforgiveness doesn't affect the other person as much as it affects us. In fact, we would be shocked to find out how little time people think about us.

If the future is controlling us, it is generally in the form of anxiety. The Bible tells us with good reason in Philippians 4:6, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Fear of the future has the ability to immobilize us in the present. More than causing us to be ineffective, guilt and anxiety have been linked to many health risks including heart disease, ulcers, and degraded immune system.

From this, we surmise that the only appropriate time to set our expectations is in the present. While we must consider our experiences and education from the past as well as our dreams and goals for the future, the only time that we can actually take action is now. The great news in looking up from where we are is that we can change where we're going.

"We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake... by an infinite expectation of the dawn, which does not forsake us in our soundest sleep. I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor. - Henry David Thoreau, Walden, from "Where I Lived, and What I Lived For"

Could You Learn To Unleash The Power Within?

Anthony Robbins' flagship seminar, Unleash The Power Within (UPW), might seem like it's a scam at first glance. I was certainly skeptical when I heard about this program. According to Robbins, every one of us has a power inside that can help us attain our dreams, as long as we know how to use it.

If you think that sounds like a lot of new age mumbo jumbo, you're not alone, but there's truth to that statement, no matter how silly it might seem when you first encounter it. Most of us look outside ourselves for answers, but that gives away our power. What we need to do is learn to look inside ourselves to find the power we could be using to reach our fullest potential.

Unleash The Power Within is Anthony Robbins' flagship seminar for a reason. Take a look at it to see what it could do for you. It can tell you a lot about the powers you aren't using to your fullest.

Did you know that what you believe could be holding you back? Lots of what happens to us, as well as the majority of things we do are based on the things that we believe about ourselves. These stories we tell ourselves are the thing that's holding so many of us back, because they bring insecurity, fear and doubt along with them.

No one should have to be a victim of their own stories. I've learned how to examine by beliefs and expand my sense of self worth to become a person with greater productivity and drive to succeed, as well as a better self image. It might not be the easiest path to follow, but I'd be pretty suspicious of any problem that says it has a magic fix.

Many people have changed their lives based on what they've learned from Anthony Robbins' UPW, allowing them to start their dream businesses, get out of debt, and make their lives better in general. There's more than thirty years of experience based around this seminar, and all of that experience can be a big help to us.

This is a seminar that helps people redesign their lives, instead of just leaving everything up to hope and change. We can forget the patterns we've locked ourselves into for most of our lives. Changing what goes on outside really can't happen until we've managed to change ourselves inside.

If you've been feeling like you're going nowhere, maybe you just need to discover how to use your inner power. Take a look at Unleash The Power Within to find out how to do that. Even if you're still not certain, you should take the time to find out more so you can make your own decisions.