When you are
constantly seeking the approval of others you lose sight of what is really
important to you. This cannot be the case if you wish to accomplish great
things! When you are seeking the approval of others, you lower you standards
and possibly do things you wish you hadn't. You are giving away your power and
as much as you dislike doing it, others hate you doing it as well. It shows
that you are willing to give up on your standards and morals just for the O.K.
of another individual, which is an awfully unattractive trait.
If you find yourself...
Being sad when you
are not accepted by others.
Constantly comparing
yourself to others.
Going out of your way
just to please someone else.
Afraid of judgment.
Then you have the
approval seeking behaviors! I know because I used to have the same problem, I
was constantly going out of my way to please others. This is not helping you
move on with your life, the sooner you realize this, the better. If others
don't appreciate you for who you are as a person than they just aren't worth
being around! People love to be around other genuine individuals who remain
true to their morals and stand up for their beliefs. This is a list of some
ways you can work this behavior out of your system daily.
1. Develop
Self-Worth!
Think of all the
things that you are great at and focus your attention on those things. Keeping
a positive attitude about yourself will always allow you to get past things
that don't work out how you want them to.
2. Find Your Image
Who are you as a
person? What are your ambitions? What makes you special? Work on a list of all
of your goals and go after them. Don't ask for permission or wait for someone
to come along and do it for you, go out and achieve! Stay true to yourself
every step of the way. If you don't have deep down confidence in where you are
going than subtly others will pick up on this, you will give it away in your
body language and it is a repelling behavior.
3. Does It Really
Matter Anyway?
Think about it, how
much does another person's approval mean to you? What does it do for you? Nothing
at all, in the long run it won't make the slightest bit of difference whether
someone is giving approving or not. If you want to do something go out and do
it. Others may laugh and judge but that is their loss while you're out doing
the things you want, they are wasting their time with judgments.
4. Re-evaluate
Know that this type
of thinking will only waste your energy. Time worrying about the opinions of
how others will accept you can be better spent thinking of productive
solutions. Put this type of thought process out of your mind and you will
ultimately accomplish more of the things that matter to you.
5. Picture Yourself
From A Third-Person Perspective
This goes along with
1 & 2 but helps you develop more of just what kind of person you would like
to be. See yourself in the room you're in, or in a future situation handling
things how you would ideally want to. This helps put it in your brain that you
can handle any situation that you want to, and makes it easier the next time
you have to. The deeper the details you can imagine the better it sticks in
your brain for the future. Whatever the situation you can handle it with
confidence and poise!
Finally, remember
that ultimately others do not want you giving your power away; they just don't
want to see it. Other people hate even being around approval seeking behavior;
do them and yourself a favor by getting rid of this unattractive quality. Just
be your better self, move forward and stay great!
