Are You Ready To Stop Sabotaging Your Own Success?

Have you ever stumbled upon something that you are passionate about? Maybe it was a fantastic idea, but immediately your inner critic took over and you then proceed to come up with over five hundred reasons why it won't work? If you are guilty of that, then my next question is, why are you sabotaging your own success before it even takes off? Take a look at your life. Are you happy with where you are in your life? Do you want something more for your life? Okay, what are you doing to move your life from where it is to where you desire?

May be you are thinking that someone like you will never make it. You feel that the good life is for others, just not for you. Or you may believe that you are way too busy living in the real world, so you do not have time for fantasies. How right and wrong you are. If you have stopped dreaming, stopped having fantasies, then no wonder your life is not moving from where it is and no wonder you feel that the life you are living is all there is. Hear this and hear this good - You can create the life you desire and just like anyone else you too are deserving of the good life. The trick is, yes, you have to do some work.

Many of us have gotten so beaten down by life that we have basically given up on our dreams, our desires and our passions. Once we allow life to make us throw in the towel, then that is the end to any external success we may have the potential to attain. It is in the tough times that we need to hold on to our dreams, desires and our passions. When we stop dreaming, then life will be able to drain us of our energy, our inner drive. That is when we will start to feel burnt-out, tired, depressed, our shoulders start to drop and we just give up on life. Life is what you make it, but to make it, we need to be present in our life, front and center. If we are to attain any kind of external success in our life, we cannot afford to give up on our life. There is more to life.

Pick up your dreams, reignite your passions. You too can live a passionate life, but in order to do that, you first need to change your thinking. You cannot change your present life with the same thinking that got you into that life in the first place. Do not try to force yourself to go it alone. Seek out others who are living the kind of life that you desire. They do not have to be rich and wading in oodles of money. Seek out those who are living a peaceful life, an abundantly wealthy life and soak up their energy. The same energy that draws you to someone you are romantically attracted to you that is the energy you need to tap into so that you will be drawn to those who emulate the life you desire. Do not be afraid of asking them how they got to live the life they are living or how are they able to maneuver life's challenges.

Success does not necessarily have to have a monetary value. Of course, it all comes down to what kind of success you desire for your life. Overall, whatever you desire in your life, you need to surround yourself with the people who embody what you desire. If you are not, you will find your energy being depleted; you are struggling to hold on to life, until you find yourself feeling empty. Fill yourself up on what you need for your life. If you were hungry, then you know that you need to find something filling to eat. If you are thirsty, then you need to drink something refreshing.

The same thing applies to your life. If you find that your life is feeling empty and depleted, then you need to find whatever it is that will help you to fill that emptiness inside of you. That does not mean that you should overeat, over drink and fill that emptiness with things that will only make your health worse. Seek out things that are fulfilling and substantial. Just as how you can't fully operate on an empty stomach, your life cannot fully operate on an empty feeling inside.

Your life is screaming out for something more. Start taking steps to feed your life with things that are healthy and will build you up internally. Yes, it takes substantial work for your life to begin turning in the direction of your North Star. You also need to be willing to do that work. Living your life fully is not for the faint-hearted. You need to show up every day to and for your life. The days that you feel out of it, rest. Do not force your life. Quietly remove yourself from the chaos of the outside world, find a quiet place where you can respectfully listen to your internal voice.

Allow your life to guide you in the direction that it needs to go. Declutter your space, declutter your mind. As you declutter your mental and emotional self, you will be able to better hear the messages of your Soul. You may not believe this, but you have everything inside of you that you need to move your life in the direction that you desire.

You have everything you need inside of you to lead your life to the inner and external success you desire. If you were to start believing that you are already a success internally, then you will be able to start believing in yourself more and thus stop sabotaging your own success. Whatever you desire, it can be yours. Are you ready to start taking the steps required to get you from where you are to where you desire to be? Remember, your life can move only to the degree that you are willing to move.

The Importance of Assertiveness

The idea of assertiveness is often misunderstood and given a meaning quite different from what is intended. For example, we often hear people say such things as: 'Jane's quite assertive. Everyone is scared of her'. Well, of course, if Jane were genuinely assertive, no one would have any reason to be scared of her, because she would be handling interpersonal interactions very skilfully and sensitively to ensure what the textbooks refer to as 'win-win' outcomes - that is, producing results that all parties involved are reasonably happy with. We have to be very clear that the term 'assertive' does not mean stroppy or pushy; it means having the skills and commitment to try and ensure that no one is disadvantaged from your interactions with them, and that includes yourself.

Being assertive involves not being ruthless and getting what you want at other people's expense, but also not allowing other people to get what they want at your expense (being submissive or non-assertive). It is a form of negotiation rooted in:

Knowledge: Knowing about the significance of assertiveness and the important elements of interpersonal interactions that we can influence (for example, understanding key factors such as motivation, conflict and effective communication).

Skills: Being sufficiently adept at active listening, empathy, and getting your point across clearly and firmly without being aggressive is a central feature of the skills set needed for assertiveness.

Values: There has to be commitment to fairness. Assertiveness is not about winning the battle; it is about being sufficiently concerned about both your needs and interests and those of the people you are interacting with to want to produce a situation which everybody finds acceptable. Assertiveness is about avoiding the need to fight battles, not about winning them.

Another example of when assertiveness is misunderstood is when people say things like: 'You'd better not be too assertive with your boss or you'll get sacked'. If we think about this carefully, how is it possible to be too assertive, too skilled at producing outcomes that everybody is reasonably happy with or too committed to developing positive working relationships? So, once again, we have to move away from the idea that being assertive means being stroppy or pushy. Arguably, anyone who is stroppy or pushy towards their boss (or anyone else for that matter) deserves to run the risk of being disciplined.

Perhaps part of the confusion arises from the idea that assertiveness means standing up for your rights. Of course, it does involve standing up for your rights but the key issue is how you do that. You can stand up for your rights in an aggressive way, disrespecting other people in the process, but that would not be assertiveness - quite the opposite, in fact.

It is often said that being assertive means saying 'No', but this is not strictly true, as simply saying 'No' means I am protecting my own interests but disregarding your interests, so there will be no 'win-win' outcome. It is better to think of assertiveness as saying 'No, but... ' - that is, not allowing our own interests and needs to be disregarded, but being prepared to find ways forward where the other person's interests and needs are not disregarded either.

Sometimes this is a simple matter of compromise, but the more skilled we become at being assertive, the more creative we can become at finding ways forward that we can all feel happy with. Simply saying 'No' invites further conflict, rather than resolving or avoiding it.

This issue is particularly important in relation to what is increasingly being referred to as 'professional assertiveness'. This term relates to situations where increased bureaucracy makes it difficult for professionals to use their knowledge and skills and practise in accordance with their professional values. Without a degree of professional assertiveness there is a very real danger that, in these days of managerialism, targets and indicators, some people can risk losing their professional registration if they allow bureaucratic pressures to influence them to behave in ways that are not consistent with their conditions of registration.

What is particularly important about the notion of professional assertiveness is that it opens up the possibility of collective assertiveness, of like-minded people with shared interests working together to produce the best outcomes that are possible in difficult circumstances.

One final oversimplification relates to the effectiveness of assertiveness. Some people (on training courses, I have presented, for example) have wanted to dismiss the value of assertiveness by giving examples of when it hasn't worked. This is, of course, a flawed argument because the fact that an approach might have a less than 100% success rate does not mean that it is not a valuable and worthwhile approach. If we were to reject approaches on the grounds that they are not 100% effective, we would end up rejecting all approaches!

So, assertiveness is not a panacea, but it is an important consideration when it comes to relating to other people and managing the tensions and conflicts that are inevitably involved sooner or later. Failing to develop our assertiveness skills (and the confidence that goes along with it) puts us at a significant disadvantage. Thankfully, these are skills that can be built up over a period of time, and life regularly gives us opportunities to practise them. The starting point needs to be recognising how important they are and how much we are losing out on if we make the mistake of thinking that assertiveness is something we can do without.

The Power of Decisions

I want to talk a little bit about the concept of decisions. When you think about any change that you've ever made in your life, didn't it really happen the moment you made a decision? Now sometimes we say, "Oh it's hard to change, it took me forever to change." Usually what takes forever is getting yourself to the point of deciding. It's the "getting ready to get ready to change" that's takes so long. You really didn't make any changes until you decided to change.

So you can say today, "That's it! I'm done. I'm never going to do that again" or "this is the way I'm going to be from now on." It's the power of a decision. No change was ever made in anybody's life without first deciding. Once you make a decision then you can move forward. A lot of times you say, "Oh it's so hard to change, it's so hard to do this, it's so hard to do that" but really it's not hard because you're really not doing it yet, you're really not making any effort until you decide.

The decision - when things begin to happen

Once you have made that decision, things start to happen in your life. Making that one single decision, saying from this point on, from this time, this minute, this second, I am going in that direction. I am no longer going in the direction I was going. I have turned my life. I am headed in a new direction and everything I do and everything I say and everything I feel is different. This gets you on the road. You won't totally change your life in a day but you will be amazed at how quickly you move in that direction.

Think for a moment about the story that Charles Dickens wrote, A Christmas Carol. Think about Scrooge. Think about what happened to him, how in an instant his life changed. After he was shown all the pain and misery of his past and the mistakes that he had made, and the person that he had become, and then as he looked into the future and was shown what his future would be if he continued on that path, if he continued in that direction - he made a decision, in an instant. He changed his direction. He changed his glasses, his lenses that he sees his life through. Suddenly everything changed.

Can you change in an instant?

Is it possible for a person to change in an instant? I believe it is. Think about Scrooge and how he changed in an instant. He totally changed his direction. He became a different person. Now, did everything change in his life all at once? No! But his direction changed and the lens through which he looked at life changed. The lens through which he made decisions, his feelings, his actions changed by changing that lens that he looked through or the direction that he was headed in his life. Everything changed and he was now on the road in a different direction to a different life, to becoming a different person. You can do the same. You can make that change.

Now you don't have to have spirits come to you in the night to show you the mistakes you have made in the past. You can do that on your own. Review the past, review the pain that you've had in your life by going the direction you're going right now. Think about all the pain you've suffered through, all the opportunities that you've missed because of the actions and direction you've taken in your life. Think about where you could have been now. Think about your future. Think about a year into the future.

Ponder your future

If you continue on the road that you are on now where will you be one year from now? Will you be any better of a person? Will you continue down hill? What about five years from now, where will you be if you continue on this road that you're headed without changing? What will your life be like? Is that where you want to be? Is that where you want to go? Experience the pain of this. Think about it. What kind of a life do you want? What kind of person do you want to be? Do you want to continue heading in the direction that you're heading right now? Is that what you want? No!

As you experience this pain of your past mistakes and what it will mean to you in the future if you don't make any changes - let it sink deep down into your heart, into your mind, into your emotions. Feel this pain and make a decision now, at this moment, that you will not put up with this any more, that you will not live another second in this world headed in that direction, that you are tired of tripping up, falling down, making mistakes, following the easy path and suffering the misery from this. You want better things in life.

You know deep down inside of you is a different person, a better person, a great person, a person with potential. The real you is deep down inside you. You know who the real you is and it's trying to get out. Why not let him out now? Defeat the old "you" and let the new "you" out, the real you out. You can do all this with the power of decisions.

Subliminal Blaster

I just wanted to let you know about this FREE offer.  You can now get this great FREE download of Subliminal Blaster which will project subliminal messages on to your screen to help you with various aspects of your life such as quitting smoking or losing weight for example, please be aware though you are only to use this software on yourself as it is illegal to send subliminal messages to anyone else.

Subliminal Blaster Download Site Here

Below is the write up of the product:

This self-help freeware application is designed to flash subliminal messages, but its ability to modify behavior is up to you to evaluate. Subliminal Blaster's intuitive interface offers a wide variety of preset message categories, though you can easily add your own. You can select from 51 self-help areas including dealing with stress and pain, quitting smoking, and slimming sensibly. Messages are positive affirmations such as "I am always improving" and "My body feels good." You can set the location, frequency, and font for your selected messages, which will only display when the program is open but will display over any application. Subliminal Blaster is a handy, well-designed program for those who believe in the power of subliminal messages.

What is it?


Subliminal Blaster is a small utility that installs on your PC and works quietly in the background. Using a patented subliminal delivery system, Subliminal Blaster flashes safe and unobtrusive messages around your monitor as you use your PC, but its ability to modify behavior is up to you to evaluate. Because of the speed in which they're delivered to your screen, your conscious mind will merely see a "flicker" -- it won't have the pace to capture the message. However the subconscious mind absorbs every single message... and uses each one to change your thought patterns, your behaviours, even your body! And that's great -- because, your "conscious" mind isn't responsible for changing your automatic reactions and habits. Only your subconscious is! Your subconscious mind is built as a tool for betterment. It's there to respond to your environment. It "sees" things you don't even realize. Every sound. Every picture. Every phonetic nuance. Everything. So it makes sense that if your brain "reacts" to the information its fed that you should probably feed it the best information you can, right? These messages are statements of positive intent, like: I learn fast; I am calm and confident always; I enjoy speaking on stage; I attract my ideal partner easily; Every day in everyway I'm getting better, and better. Using Subliminal Blaster, you can easily: Banish negative behavior patterns; Enjoy perfect health and heal any illness, ailment or disease; Realise your perfect body weight, appearance and vitality and keep it that way. Enjoy perfect relationships with others whether friends, family or others. Maintain absolute happiness, harmony and peace in your life at all times. Dissolve stress and tension. Destroy bad habits in a flash. And best of all, you don't have to do a thing! The whole system sits on your desktop, utilizing time you already spend at your computer every moment you use your PC, you're creating a fantastic new you.

Subliminal Blaster Download Site Here

5 Crucial Zig Ziglar Quotes Business Owners Should Memorize

Zig Ziglar passed away November 28th, 2012, but his legacy will live on in many books and countless recordings.

I wanted to share 5 of the "cream-of-the-crop" quotes from Zig Ziglar, which all business owners and professionals should have memorized (or tattooed somewhere memorable, if you're in to that). They have helped me shape how I view myself and my own business.

Here they are, and why they're so boss.

1) "If you learn from defeat, you haven't really lost."

It's so easy to get frustrated and give up. Some statistics say that 90% of start-ups fail in their first years. Some of these are due to business factors, but many of them are from succumbing to small defeats. It's become a maxim to learn from your failures, and Zig Ziglar points this out beautifully: anytime you gain experience, you gain. Period.

Of course, sometimes we don't ever get to the point of losing...

2) "If you wait until all the lights are green before you leave home, you'll never get started on your trip to the top."

We like to make sure all of our ducks are in a row, but sometimes that kills us. A "Ready, Fire, Aim" approach may be better than spending so long aiming that you never get to shoot...

3) "Sometimes adversity is what you need to face in order to become successful."

And here, of course, is the reason why it's better to take aim quickly, but then fire and worry after about hitting closer to the mark. We learn though failure because we learn through experiences. Again, so long as you're learning, you win.

4) "The greatest good we can do for others is not just to share our riches with them, but to reveal theirs."

Another way to win is to help others. Like rocks in a tumbler that polish each other, we can help polish others who will in turn polish us, leaving both parties better off than when they met. And that's important, because...

5) "You can have everything in life that you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want."

All that matters in life is helping people. I'm in sales, and at the end of the day, my main goal is just to help my customers do business better. And if I can help them do what they want to do, in the end, I'll get what I want. Again Win/Win.

Summarizing Zig Ziglar's Philosophy In One Sentence...

If I had to summarize Zig Ziglar's philosophy in one sentence, it would be: Always aim for a win/win scenario. That's the thread of all of these quotes, and if you're aiming in a way that means you can't fail, then the sky is the limit!

How NLP Can Put You In A Confident State Anytime, Anyplace With Anyone (Part Two)

I have read Anthony Robbins' book, Unlimited Power so many times, it is almost tattered beyond recognition. I have bookmarks all through it, I have highlighted many, many sections, and I have lots of my own personal notes written in the margins.

Have I mentioned that I really, REALLY, like this book?

One story from Unlimited Power that I would like to pass on to you is about an airplane flight in which Tony found himself sitting next to Ken Blanchard, the co-author of The One Minute Manager.

Blanchard had recently had a session with one of the top golf instructors in the United States, and while his golf score had certainly improved, he confessed to Tony that he was having trouble keeping all the individual instructions (like how to stand, how to hold the club, how the upswing should feel, etc) in his mind at the same time.

Tony then launched into a discussion about the NLP term called "state." He asked Blanchard if he had ever hit a golf ball perfectly, and Blanchard said yes.

Then Tony asked if Blanchard had hit the golf ball perfectly on many occasions, and he was again told yes.

This meant, Tony explained, that Blanchard's brain already held all the individual steps to a perfect golf swing. All Blanchard had to do was re-produce the state he was in when he had hit the ball perfectly, and he could re-produce those perfect shots.

Now apply this to your need. Have you ever been in a state in which you were relaxed, totally confident and free from doubt? Of course you have, so now all you need is re-produce those internal and external actions that were present when you were previously in this state.

An example of this is when Tony was working with an Olympic swimmer who had been unable to swim at a time equal to his previous personal best. With Tony's help, the swimmer was able to re-produce all the cues that put him in that previous state (right down to playing a certain piece of music) and the swimmer was subsequently able to match his own previous best time.

Here's the point: If you are feeling un-confident going into a certain situation, think back to a time you previously were very confident and exhibited all the outward behaviors and mannerisms you want to exhibit now.

In your mind, re-create all the inner and outward actions you exhibited at that time, and you can put yourself back into that state and exhibit the same behaviors now. We will continue this concept in the next article and show how to look for those cues and how to re-create them, so you can change your state now.

Self-Confidence - Don't Leave Home Without It

"Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings."
- Samuel Johnson

As a child, I was quiet and shy and I thought Self-Confidence was 
something you either had or didn't have - like being tall or having 
red hair. Actually, I thought it was something that the "lucky" 
people had. Fortunately for me, I learned that Self-Confidence is 
a quality that can be developed. In fact, I find Self-Confidence 
to be a wonderful byproduct of understanding and applying the Law 
of Attraction. With the Law of Attraction, you can enjoy the Self-Confidence 
that comes from knowing who you really are, from knowing how life 
works, from knowing how to make your dreams come true. With the 
Law of Attraction, the Self-Confidence is available to everyone.

Having lived without a lot of Self-Confidence in my younger years, 
I can tell you - Life is MUCH better with it. Self-Confidence opens 
doors. It allows you to live fully, to get in the game, to play 
full out. With Self-Confidence, you apply for the promotion, start 
the business, say YES to opportunities. With Self-Confidence, life 
is richer and fuller and a whole lot more FUN!

Self-Confidence starts with seeing something you want to do and 
giving it a try. Michael Jordan wasn't born knowing how to play 
basketball, but he had a desire to play and it turned out he was 
pretty good at it. Lance Armstrong wasn't born with the skill and 
endurance to win the Tour de France seven consecutive times, but 
he got on the bike and built confidence along the way. Self-Confidence 
is a quality we all possess - a quality we can develop from the 
inside out.

Self-Confidence - like everything else - is a choice. You can CHOOSE 
to be more Self-Confident. At those times when you feel insecure, 
uncertain, or powerless, remind yourself that you're in charge and 
you can choose how you feel. You can choose to feel self-assured, 
certain, decisive, and positive. Here are seven ways to adopt an 
attitude of Self-Confidence:

• To be a confident person, ACT like a confident person. Think 
of someone who appears to be brimming with confidence and BE like 
them.

• Ask yourself: "What can I do to feel more confident?" 
Choose one thing you can do today to increase your feelings of Self-Confidence 
and do it. Take the first step. "A journey of 1000 miles..."

• Look your best - even if you work at home, even if you're 
a stay-at-home mom, even if there doesn't appear to be any real 
reason to care about your appearance. It's a way to respect yourself 
and you'll be ready to answer the door when opportunity knocks.

• Because belief is just a thought you keep thinking, keep 
thinking thoughts such as: "I AM a confident person. I radiate 
Self-Confidence. I project an aura of Self-Confidence." Think 
and FEEL these kinds of affirmations and your Self-Confidence will 
go through the roof!

• Focus on what you love and appreciate and value about yourself. 
Once you get focused on your positive aspects, you'll realize how 
great you truly are!

• Notice when you DO feel confident. Maybe someone gave you 
a compliment, thanked you for a job well done, asked you for a date. 
FEEL the satisfaction, the pleasure, the confidence. The more you 
FEEL it, the more Self-Confidence will become your dominant vibration.

• Here's an exercise to amp up your Self-Confidence in an 
even bigger way. Close your eyes and breathe deeply, relaxing your 
body to completely. As you relax and breathe slowly, summon up the 
FEELING of Self-Confidence from your core. Let this feeling flow 
throughout your body. Now imagine yourself in a situation where 
you want to feel supremely Self-Confident. Perhaps you see yourself 
making a presentation at work, submitting your manuscript to a publisher, 
or interacting with others at a social event. Visualize yourself 
feeling and behaving with ease and grace in this situation. Play 
the scene over and over again in your mind as you FEEL self-assured 
and empowered. Savor the joyful, powerful, fully alive feeling of 
Self-Confidence. As you open your eyes, set your intention to be 
able to summon up this wonderful state of Self-Confidence whenever 
you desire.

As you know, Self-Confidence is an inside job. It's about trusting 
yourself, believing in yourself, knowing, loving and respecting 
yourself. If there's something you want to do, summon up your Self-Confidence, 
align your Energy and go for it. Self-Confidence: Don't leave home 
without it!