Quitters Do Win

We all share this common, yet miraculous ability to quickly notice when things suck. And we've all heard that quitting is bad, and quitters never win, so never ever quit. Never? Is there ever a time when quitting is a GOOD thing?

The gym is a good example of a place where things can get difficult. After the first 45 minutes of zumba class, you are sweating and unable to side-kick any higher, no matter how loudly the bandana-crazed drill sergeant yells. Someone behind you is entirely hogging the fan and you want to empty your water bottle over your head. Or pass out. Whichever happens first is fine.

Another example is being "stuck" in a crappy job. Your desk has been moved to the basement and you're working overtime on a dreadful project. Your boss passes by and blithely waves hello to the wall next to you, as if he finds the two of you indistinguishable. If he asked how it was going, you'd probably feel compelled to say everything is great! But an honest answer would be closer to, "Well Bob, I haven't yet gouged out my eyes with salad spoons... partially because I am an optimist, but mainly because I just don't carry around salad spoons."

Start by asking yourself why are you doing it. What do you get out of it, and how is that good for you? Working out is an easy one, the benefits are being healthy, feeling and looking good. The dreadful job, you might say, is necessary to pay your rent and that gym membership. But perhaps it is NOT necessary to do that particular soul-stomping job in order to make a living.

Which option serves you best? When are you doing yourself a favor by quitting, as opposed to depriving yourself of an opportunity to contribute to your overall happiness?

Two people in the same circumstances can end up with opposite conclusions. The difference is not the situation, but the choice. Your butt might be sore the next day, but you CHOOSE to take zumba because you love fitting into your skinny jeans, feel healthier, or enjoy the after cardio high. Your best friend might also love skinny jeans but despise zumba and anything resembling a gym, and choose to fit in them solely through diet.

That job is making you miserable and you don't care about the work. So why do it? Start looking for a better way to earn money that not only doesn't stress you out, but that you actually enjoy! Sometime when the going gets tough, the tough really do get going. As in, out-the-door. Goodbye.

Another way to look at your choices is to ask yourself whether you are quitting because you are going toward something better, and not simply reacting to difficulty by running away from it.

Have a goal you are excited about, a definite destination. There are many avenues to choose from to get where you want to be. As Lewis Carrol said, "If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there." You are not confined to taking the miserable path through the basement office.

'Tis the Season to Be Emotional: A Training Plan for Staying In Control, Part 1

RIDING THE ROLLERCOASTER

Ah, the holiday season. That time of year when we experience those delightful emotional extremes -- from the joy and exhilaration of spending time with people we care about to the discomfort of performance reviews and dinner with difficult in-laws.

Even if, on balance, you enjoy the holidays, when your emotions start running the show, the rollercoaster ride between the highs and lows can feel pretty stressful and uncomfortable.

WE HAVE A CHOICE

When the doctor hits the patella of your knee with that little hammer your leg jerks up - you can't help it, it's a natural reflex. Though it sometimes feels the same with our emotions, it's not. True, we can't control the specific emotion that wells up in a particular situation, but we can make a choice as to what we do next and how we respond.

As with any new habit or skill, however, it takes awareness and practice to become the master of your emotions. (What, you were expecting a quick fix?) You're in luck, however: I've put together a step-by-step training plan that lays out exactly what and how to practice.

THE TRAINING ROUTINE: PREPARE

1. Have a morning practice.

Just as pilots check their flight plan, set the controls and evaluate the instrument panel in readying for take-off, you too will benefit from preparing yourself for the day ahead. Whatever you do -- meditate, take a walk, do yoga, read a motivational book or write in your journal - investing the time (even 15 minutes is beneficial) to quiet your mind and plug into your inner energy source will give you a sense of perspective and allow you to stay grounded as you move through the chaos of the day.

(And don't even think about making the "I don't have time" excuse. That's like saying "I don't have time to find my car keys so I'm going to walk to work." You always have time to set yourself up for success.)

Like the Dalai Lama says: "We all know that on days when we are in a good mood, when the whole world seems to be smiling at us, we can accept predicaments or bad news more easily than if our mind is already upset, frustrated or troubled, when the slightest incident might cause us to explode with negative emotions."

2. Identify your triggers.

This is not your first Christmas dinner with your extended family. And, most likely it's not the first time a colleague has lost his temper or you've gotten critical feedback from a boss or colleague. Though we may feel ambushed, there are recurring scenarios where we can anticipate potential friction and think through how we typically react.

So, start a running list of those situations that tend to stir up negative emotion - you know, the juicy stuff like anger, resentment, insecurity, guilt. Now you can strategize what you'll do or say in the heat of the moment when it may be difficult to think clearly.

3. Visualize and practice.

So you're at the annual holiday party, and your obnoxious colleague - who gets even more obnoxious when he's drinking -- starts bragging about how much his bonus was. Imagine how you'll respond when he needles you about yours and insinuates that his was much higher. Imagine the various ways that scenario could play out and how you'd handle them (I'm thinking one of them could involve a suave James Bond impression).

(Don't worry that imagining a scenario will make it more likely to happen. Actually the opposite is true - simply envisioning a solution may make the problem moot.)

Then, as much as possible, look for opportunities to simulate what you feel in those emotionally charged situations - to practice or rehearse when the stakes are low and your emotional reactions won't be as costly.

For example, if you're uncomfortable with confrontation or rejection, practice returning an item to a store or asking for a refund. If you're worried about losing your composure during your performance review, practice receiving criticism from a friend or trusted colleague.

Forward-thinking and preparation are critical to navigating emotional minefields and not losing your cool in the moment.

Life Is Wonderful

It is so simple and so easy to get what we want that we have a hard time to believe it. We are programmed to do things the hard and difficult way, in order to get what we want. We can not believe that we can get anything without hard labour, sweat and tears, obstacles
and misery.

This is nothing else but a tough old programmation, a conditioning from our childhood. If you are like me, you were bombarded as a child with expressions from adults about how hard life is and how we have to struggle to get something. We were submitted to a hazardous universe or a God of revenge who could pick us out without any reason to take revenge on us for something we did wrong. We needed to avoid being bad or wrong, but disease could strike us anyway. Sometimes they even said : "It's again a good one who's punished, and the bad one take off easily like usual without paying anything!". We learned that life wasn't fair. We lived in fear and thought life was a valley of tears, fear, struggle, pain, disease
and death?

How would it have been if they've told us the truth? The truth, nothing but the truth? That life is easy, wonderful. That miracles happen all the time and that we have the power to make them happen in our own life! That the universe loves us. That there is wealth and health for everyone. That we don't live in a universe of scarcity but of abundance. That we only have to put the right thoughts in our heads to make these dreams real for us.

What would your life have looked like if your parents and teachers would have taught you the truth?

You would have suffered much less! You would not have believed you were less than nothing. You would not have been filled with fear over your ears of getting sick or failing, of being stupid or being not good enough.

If you would have known from the beginning that you were a creation of the Creator, that you will always remain, that you will always be around, that you were created for a reason, and when you find this reason you will be happy, what would your life look like now? If you were told that you had talents, unique qualities, that make you a special person, and that you are on earth with the mission to offer these talents to others, where would you be right now and what would you be doing now?

Isn't it nice? The Genius who created this whole thing did really well : we are sent to earth with a mission and to be able to assume our mission we are already fully equipped from the beginning : we are gifted with natural talents and all we have to do is develop our talents and offer them to the world! Simply said, we have to do what we can do easily already and what we are talented for, and than happiness, satisfaction, love, money and everything we want comes flowing our way!

It is so beautiful, this concept! All we have to do is to do what we love! And of course we need to stop once for all to think we don't deserve happiness or wealth or health. All these thoughts are wrong because they go against the principles of creation of the Universe.

We are already wonderful! We are already loved! We are already rich! We are already free! We are already intelligent! We are already healthy!
Why? Because we were all this before we started our life. It is the way we really are. It is the way we were created, we were born. This is the truth about ourselves. Everything else is "learned" afterwards.

The good news is whatever is learned can be un-learned. Every programmation can be changed and replaced by a new program.

And again, life is wonderful, because a positive thought is 10,000 times more powerful than a negative thought. So you don't have to take another 40 years to undo the negative conditioning in your head. One positive thought can counterbalance 10,000 negative ones.

Can you imagine? Aren't we lucky?

If you choose to do so, you can rapidly turn around your negative program in your head. Go to the bookstore, buy some books with positive thoughts, put them at every toilet in the house, in the bathroom, in your bedroom, in your living room, and read them whenever you think of it or see them. It doesn't matter if you read one page after another or if you just open the book as it falls in your hands. The message you will receive will be the right one for you at that very moment.

Every morning you start your day by saying thank you to the Universe for your bed, your house, the roof over your head, the people living with your, the water coming out of your tap, the light switching on by a simple gesture of your hand, the food available, the choices you can make that day, the love you received in your life and the love you will receive, the miracles which will happen today and the air you can breath.

In your car, listen to CD's or cassettes with positive programmation. Listen to them while you make dinner, clean the house or iron your clothes.

Surround yourself with positive people and stop nourishing negative social talk. Don't watch television unless there is some really positive program.

There is a lot you can do to take a positive turn in your life. Don't think you can do nothing. You are responsible for your life now. Make your choice! Know that every thought you think is either one which will weaken you, or one which will make you feel stronger. 

The choice is yours!

Spread the Joy - Make Someone Smile

Do you know someone that's a bit down, unhappy or depressed? Maybe, during your normal day-to-day routines you get the feeling that some of the people you bump into seem a bit preoccupied, a bit out of sorts? Maybe you wish there was something you could do to help? The good news is that you can do something - something that doesn't take much time or money, something that may well make their day a bit brighter - and make you feel good in the process. Try one or more of these suggestions today and put a smile on someone's face.

1. Give someone an inspirational or uplifting book to read. Not only could it be the catalyst for change that person was looking for, it can be a great starting point for further conversations. Books to start you off are: Neale Donald Walsch - 'Conversations with God', Anthony Robbins - 'Awaken the Giant Within' or Rhonda Byrne 'The Power'.
2. Write a note. Whether you want to say 'thanks', 'thinking of you' or simply want to encourage someone, a handwritten note can say it all. Not only that, in this digital age a handwritten note is seen as rare and special - it says you took the time and effort to put your thoughts into written form. It is something that can be kept and treasured. Start a new practice of sitting down and writing an encouraging note on a regular basis. You just might start an epidemic!
3. Take a friend out to coffee, lunch, or cook them a meal. Give yourself the time to get to know each other even better than you may do right now. If you are feeling brave, invite that person you work with, whom you never had a chance to get to know. You could be really adventurous and throw a party for several of your friends, putting a smile on a multitude of faces.
4. Volunteer some of your time. Whether it's your local church, charity or PTA group, supporting will help spread the joy. Pick a group or support that is close to your heart and you, too, will feel a warm glow as a result of your efforts. If you cannot spare any time, consider taking in some much needed donations - tins, blankets, food supplies and even your used stamps or ink cartridges are of use to various charities and organizations.
5. Deliver a meal to someone you know that is sick or having a rough time. We have all been sick and know the last thing you want to do is be out of bed. There are also times when life is tough and it is hard to do all of the daily chores. You can be a tremendous help by providing a meal that can be enjoyed.
6. Thank everyone that supports you throughout the day. The list of those that you come into contact with is endless. Whether it's family and friends, secretaries and co-workers, store employees or someone who simply opened the door for you, a simple smile and a 'thank you' can really lift someone's day.

Happiness Drivers - Three Key Findings to What Makes People Happy

Contrary to what advertisers would have us believe, what makes people happy does not come from getting more things, perennial youth, extra income or drinking a certain brand of beer. According to massive research done in the new field of positive psychology, authentic happiness (the kind that doesn't fade or change with circumstances) comes from within ourselves in the forms of self-esteem, social interactions, humor, free time and giving ourselves in service work or volunteering. These "drivers of happiness" are inherent qualities within our psyches and can be developed to produce tangible results; not only of greater happiness but also the trickle-down benefits of greater productivity, longevity, health and personal fulfillment in remarkably short periods of time. Happiness doesn't arrive by adding more possessions or events to our lives, rather it's the product of our mindset; it's the meaning we give events, what we choose to focus on, what beliefs we choose to embrace, how we react to daily challenges all play significant roles in determining our base level of happiness. Everything we need to increase our happiness is readily available to us - there is no need to "get" anything more to be happy now.

The science of happiness is now providing us with volumes of outstanding empirical data that supports the outlook of the mystics, sages and saints of the ages - that happiness comes first, and having the mindset and experiences of happiness is what creates the conditions that will attract the external "things" we want and think will make us happy. It's not the other way around.

Most of us are in the habit of delaying our happiness, thinking that when we have the ideal partner, income, physique etc., then we'll be happy... at the same time, we mistakenly assume that the state of happiness is a luxury item and not a necessity. As an example, when under the stress of time constraints at work or school, one of our first reactions is to jettison time spent with family and friends and to hunker down in isolation to get the job done - a reaction that would seem to increase available time and attention to spend on the problem before us. In fact, this reaction contributes to feelings of being alone, isolated and helpless; we become unhappy and stressed out and because we've removed ourselves from one of our most substantial happiness boosters, our social support group, we greatly diminish our problem solving abilities. Not the happy solution we would like!

Three key findings in the science of happiness as defined by Dr. Dan Gilbert of This Emotional Life are:

a) We can't be happy alone
b) We can't be happy all the time, and
c) We can be happier than we currently are

With these findings, we can now embrace new habits that will help us thrive and experience greater happiness by fostering 1) a greater social support network 2) developing greater acceptance and fewer rules about how life should be 3) deciding that our happiness gets top priority! Here are a few ideas to help with developing these new habits:

1) If we can't be happy alone, then we simply must be the one to take the initiative in nurturing new and existing relationships - you can't wait for people to come to you. Our personal and professional lives give us ample opportunity to sincerely connect with others on a common ground - we all want greater happiness. On a daily basis, take a moment to appreciate what others do for you and let them know; a simple thank you, an email or phone call to say "Thanks, I like what you do, how you make me feel, the results you produce..." is always appreciated! If you're too shy to initiate an exchange, join a support group and meet new people there. Volunteering and service work are outstanding means to make new contacts, and it also gets us out of our own stuff.

2) We can't be happy all the time does not mean we have to suffer when we're not happy. When things happen that aren't to our liking, instead of wasting time and energy struggling with internal dialogues about how things "should" be or the "right" way for someone to behave, let go of the mental efforts to try to fit the world to suit your opinions. You can't change the past. And if you aren't happy now, what makes you qualified to tell others how to live? Start to challenge your beliefs about how things "should" be; are these really your beliefs or hand-me-downs from childhood? Give some attention to the assumptions and rules your life operates under - write them out and if they're outdated (as most will be), get rid of them and develop new ideas, beliefs and habits to better suit who you are today and where you want to be tomorrow.

3) We can be happier than we currently are is wonderful news! Our brains remain plastic as we age and we can learn new tricks, develop new habits and stimulate new neural synapses to increase our daily happiness. Of course, no one is going to do this for us, we must do the work ourselves - and our personal happiness has to start getting a higher ranking on our priority lists. A simple way to do this is by becoming more aware of how much we already have to be grateful for; every night journal about three new things you feel grateful for and why you're grateful for them. By writing out the "why" you'll connect to your motivating emotions and as you get juiced up about how these things make you feel, you'll naturally increase your personal resonance levels; like attracts like. The better you feel, the more you'll focus on what makes you feel good, and an increase in what makes you feel good will be the end result.

Learning to increase our happiness levels requires the same commitment, vision and dedication to repetition as developing any skill - make practicing these new habits easier by reducing your resistance. As you prepare for bed, set your intentions for tomorrow and get clear on what actions you'll take on these three key findings into what makes people happy; be specific on how you intend to expand your social support network, to release beliefs and conditions that unnecessarily restrict you and to develop an attitude of gratitude. Write out your happiness goals and review them often, and remember that the greatest return on happiness is received when we help others to be happier in life.

10 Reasons to Challenge Yourself

You can challenge yourself to:

#1 Grow as an individual

It all starts with you. The below challenges will all help you grow as a person but there's even more than that. Engage in self-searching, learn who you are by writing, work on being more genuine, kind, honest, considerate, spontaneous, spiritual, etc.

#2 Attain awareness, knowledge and education

Not expanding your mind is a waste of life. A complacent, inactive mind is a sad thing. Make your mantra "I must seek awareness" and your universe will grow and grow. The more we know the more we realize how little we actually understand. It's inherently challenging and exciting! With the Internet, the all-time greatest library of knowledge is at your fingertips. Be curious and seek the truth about whatever interests you.

#3 Become healthier physically and mentally

Without health we have nothing. We can challenge ourselves to lose weight, eat better, exercise, get health care and educate ourselves on how to do so. A healthy body yields a healthy spirit.

#4 Build wealth

Money, money, money. We all want more but without challenging ourselves we are likely to not earn it. Money can't buy happiness but it can help us rest easier and enjoy life more! Set goals and challenge yourself to make more, save more and have more money, money, money.

#5 Become self sufficient

With the world economy struggling, more and more people depend on others to get by. Let's face it, it sucks to not be in control of your life. Challenge yourself to take the needed steps to put yourself in a position in which you can be the master of your own domain.

#6 Advance in your career

Are you satisfied with your career position? If you answered yes, then good for you! Unfortunately, most of us are not completely happy with our career and would like to make advancements within it. A conscious, well thought out set of goals can challenge us and help us improve our station in life.

#7 Become a better friend or partner

Conventional wisdom says friends, family and health are the most important things in life (I would add 'awareness'). Having good, real friends is mandatory for being happy, but are we being the best friend we can be? Do we listen enough? Do we reach out to our friends to show them we care? Being a good friend is real work and requires conscious, consistent effort. Challenging ourselves to become a better friend will unquestionably make your life (and your friends lives) more fulfilling.

#8 Seek inspiration and be more creative

All great artists eventually learn one golden rule: you must SEEK inspiration. If Vincent van Gogh waited around for inspiration to strike, we wouldn't have his incredible body of work to appreciate and he would have been even more unfulfilled. No matter what you do in life, you're in need of being creative and seeking inspiration is a never ending quest that requires real diligence. Challenging yourself to find ways to become inspired is a must.

#9 Gain new experiences and have more fun

The alarm clock goes off, we get up and go through our daily routines, then return home to finish off our day. Routines are effective but can bog us down into a mundane lifestyle. BORING! The truth is, it's easy to do the same old thing ~ it can even make us feel safe (a good thing). Why not challenge ourselves to try new things? By doing so we'll meet new people, learn new things, have more fun and grow as an individual. Heck, we may even be rewarded with new opportunities that may lead to a more fruitful career.

#10 Achieve happiness and peace

Happiness and peace are usually the end results of successful challenges, but they can be challenges all on their own. Why not challenge yourself to be more happy and find more peace? This will help you better understand exactly what it is you need to attain these two prized life goals.

Follow these 10 types of challenges regularly and you'll be on the path to a better quality of life.

Truth Breeds Success and Happiness From Within

Truth & Falsehood

In all the world there are two things --- the one is Truth and the other is Falsehood and Falsehood That Seems To Be!

Well, here is a hot topic for your mental discussion. Thanks for taking the time today to learn about truth and falsehood and how you create success and excellence using truth in your life.

Unfortunately, there is not a lot of truth that is being bounced around the social mirror (society). It is inherent in the judicial system, the educational system, the health system, and any other system that can be beneficial to your growth and development.

Why is it that they cannot find a cure for cancer? Why is it that when a case goes to trial, the two sides are never the same? Why are they teaching myself and my children that Christopher Columbus discovered America but there were people already present? Why have someone created a device called a "Lie Detector?" Why are the television airwaves running rampant with court tv shows, cheaters, Maury, and Jerry Springer where people literally makes fools of themselves?

It is all because people do not tell the truth. People lie and hide behind them to really hide from their true selves. The statement "The Truth Shall Set You Free" is powerful and it really does free your mind from the stress of constantly trying to cover up a lie.

Remember this basic principle: "It takes a small book to tell the truth. It takes a large book to cover up the truth." The truth is a simple thing. It is not complicated and can literally lift the weight of the world off your shoulders.

Speak your truth all the time because it will always bring you back home to yourself. Also, remember this, it takes less energy to tell the truth than it does to fabricate a lie.

You also have to watch out for the "Falsehood That Seems To Be True.

• Just like they tell you to lower you cholesterol to some ungodly number, but do you know that you brain needs cholesterol to function.
• Christopher Columbus discovered America, but when he landed, Indians were present. Don't they count.
• They can't find a cure for cancer, but go into another country where doctors are paid unless you are well and see the difference.

Watch out for the "seems to be. If they (and you know who they are) tell you to go left you had better done your research to know what is on the right.

So, in closing, speak your truth for you owe it to yourself and the people in your life to be, live, and talk who you truly are. A wonderful, growing, prosperous human being.

Thanks for spending time with me today and I wish you well on your journey of excellence.  Peace.

Learn How To Have A Happy Day

Every morning is a fresh opportunity for your life to take a new path. The day is at your disposal and can be anything that you want it to be. The real question is how to you ensure that you have a happy day?

Many people believe that they have no control over the day ahead of them. That everything happens by fate and that they are simply in for what life has in store for them. However, that is not true. There are some things that you can do to ensure that you have a happy day.

The first thing that you need to do is choose your attitude. It's easy to allow yourself to have your emotions swayed by the circumstances that you are in. Unfortunately this often leads to you feeling more negative than positive.

Rather than allowing that to happen it is better to choose your attitude and to stay strong in that choice. It is surprising how much of an effect your choice in attitude can have on your day. When you have a positive attitude you can take bumps in the road in stride.

One of the easiest ways to have a happy day is to simply put a smile on your face. When you smile it activates your muscle memory reminding you of times that were happy. That can make you feel more happy in a very short period of time. The great thing about a smile is that it doesn't take a lot of effort to make happen, yet it can bring about a significant change in your mood.

Another way to put yourself in a more positive mood is to count your blessings. All too often you may find yourself taking what you have for granted. This does not just mean material things. It can also mean those intangible things like love, faith, and security.

Take some time each and every day to cherish the blessings that you have in your life and realize how lucky you are to have them. Recognizing these things can instantly make you feel more happy and content each and every day.

To make yourself feel satisfied and happy it is also a good to finish things that you have started. It is not uncommon to have unfinished projects lying around, but these projects tend to hang over your head and overshadow everything that you do. The best thing that you can do to make yourself more happy is to finish some of those projects. That sense of satisfaction will bring a smile that you will not soon lose.

If all else fails one way to give yourself an emergency shot of happy is to take the focus off of yourself. Spend some time lending a hand to someone in need. This could be someone that you know or even someone that you don't. Sometimes volunteering to help others is exactly what you need to do to realize how much you have in your own life and how happy you should be in your life each and every day.